Hello my friends! Just a little note on today's topic: I deeply believe in the value of good council from people we trust and love. The other people's opinions I'm referring to today fall under the category of gossip and other unhelpful types of discourse. Enjoy ♥︎
Today is all about other people's opinions, the reasons we place value on them and how we can learn to do less of this in the pursuit of personal empowerment.
It's primal, this thing in us that seeks to 'fit in' and to be accepted. Literally! We have this ancient part of our brain that is sometimes referred to as 'the reptilian brain'. And while it is ancient in its functions (instinct, dominance & survival) it remains necessary for our safety to this day.
The tricky thing is, it is also the part that, if we were still hunters and gatherers, desperately wants the approval of the pack.
Why?
Well, not fitting in back then would likely have meant certain death - being outcast from the group with no food, water, shelter, protection from predators, etc.
So on this very primal level, we are STILL physiologically wired to be susceptible to this desire to 'fit in'. We all feel this pull at certain times in our lives. Heck, maybe even every day!
But here's the thing: we're not merely surviving anymore. Those days are gone. Instead, we have these brilliant opportunities to THRIVE: to choose where we live, what we do, who we befriend, what we create, how we are going to live and what we are going to think.
Can I get an AMEN?!
So why, then, do we still place such an emphasis on 'what he or she said'?
Because when we are living unconsciously, we slip into this primal way of thinking. The ancient brain takes over and reverts back to a fear and scarcity mindset.
To get beyond this we need to access higher level thinking; a commitment to consciousness and overriding that ancient part of our brain. Because friend, fretting about other people's opinions DOES NOT SERVE YOU OR ME ♥︎
So. Here is what I have learned to do, when I notice the ancient part of my brain inviting me to indulge in caring what someone else is doing or saying about me:
1. Note with compassion that I just went unconscious and in doing so, gave my power away.
2. Recognize that I have no control over other people's opinions. RELEASE control.
3. Recognize that what matters most is my own integrity and living from a place I can be proud of and create meaningfully from.
4. STAY IN MY LANE: I get clear on my vision of the life I'm living and creating and remember that I have no control over the stories people tell themselves about themselves or about me. I remember that I DO have control over the thoughts I think and that I want those to beempowered, worthy, creative, insightful, helpful, motivating thoughts. I then consciously choose those thoughts, put my head down and get back to the work of creating and enjoying this life I love so dearly.
Guess what happens? Other people's opinions are still out there, floating around, pestering my brain for attention and to apply meaning. But I've put that ancient part of my brain down for a nap and have asked the higher, more creative and evolved part of my brain to
BE MY OWN WITNESS.
And good gracious, does that ever feel better!
PRACTICE
Say this quote out loud, several times this week. Feel it awaken something in the higher part of your brain. Refer to it when you feel compelled to indulge in 'fitting in' or pleasing others for acceptance:
"If you are ever tempted to look for outside approval, you have compromised your integrity. If you need a witness, be your own."
Epictetus
